In Letter 15, Screwtape writes that "Tortured fear and stupid confidence are both desirable states of mind." (from the devil's perspective, of course.)
I like the way that Lewis distinguishes between "tortured fear" and fear that can be healthy; as well as "stupid confidence" and a healthy dose of confidence.
In the past, I've struggled with the concepts of confidence and pride. For one thing, growing up, I didn't have much of either for whatever reason. Then, I seemed to develop what I now recognize as a fake confidence and pride. I was able to appear confident on the outside, but really was not confident on the inside. It was not until well into my college years, after enduring some of life's inevitable difficulties, that I began to understand the concept of a healthy confidence. I remember, this insight was so very liberating at the time. However, it's an insight that is easily lost in the chaos of modern life. Now, at times, I feel like I'm grasping for it, and it is not easy to find. At times, I revert back to my earlier, immature version of pride--the kind that would make Uncle Screwtape very pleased.
I'm not sure if any of you are U2 fans, but this letter reminds me of a lyric from the song "The Original of the Species." The lyric goes: "Some things you shouldn't get too good at, like smiling, crying and celebrity. Some people got way too much confidence, baby. I'll give you everything that you want, except the thing that you want...." I can imagine this dialogue coming from God. Like many other things, smiling, crying, celebrity, fear and confidence are good in moderation, but can so easily be abused. And once we cross the line from healthy pride to sinful pride, it is difficult to return.
I wrote about The Original of the Species on my personal blog, Streams of Consciousness, back in November. The song seems to get at some feelings of mine which are hard to put into words----a message to enjoy life fully, but to enjoy it in the right way.
